Actually, it's hard to write after you pass out AFTER you gave blood. While in a dress.
My company had a blood drive on a Tuesday. Fair enough. I signed right up to save a life.
Super sweet, right?
Eh, not so much.
Don't get me wrong. The whole "giving blood and saving a life" thing was awesome.
What happened after was not.
I ate a banana and some peanut butter before I gave. And drank a lot of water. So I'm thinking I'm making a sweet score and I'm just going to up and dance out of the blood giving area.
The Red Cross girl had me sit up.
"Are you okay?" The Red Cross Girl asked.
"YUP! Totally fine!" I replied.
Then she sends me to "the table" to eat pretzels and drink water. Superb. Like I even needed it. I was gonna bypass all that noise but decided to sit down to look like I was following rules.
A co-worker friend of mine, a nurse, sits down and we get to talking. For 3 whole seconds.
Co-Worker: "How's your Team?"
Me: "Um...fine. Fine. Yeah. I think I have to throw up!"
So I get up to walk to the bathroom across the hall, go 2 feet, and the room spins. She tried to ease me into a chair. Which I totally sat down in, and later, I was at my desk telling her "See? I told you I was fine!"
Oh wait...that..eh..didn't happen.
What actually happened was that I bypassed the chair, skinned my knee on it, and hit the floor (does that count to at least getting into the chair?).
And I sort of dreamed the whole "I'm fine!" part.
When I came to, I was surrounded by shoes and water. Looks like I spilled the water I was holding on the way down. NO, I DID NOT PEE MY PANTS. And I was told I was the most graceful person ever to faint (cut to a shot of someone wearing a dress. You. Your neighbor. Your boyfriend. Whatever. And they're falling, legs crossed over each other, pulling their dress down while they pass out. Sexy.)
After some cold compresses and scaring people, I was fine. But I got to thinking. If I ate the following lentil soup before I went, all of this wouldn't have happened.
Make it. It'll save you from fainting too.
SWOON WORTHY LENTIL (and Chicken Sausage!) SOUP
(No pictures cuz you can't take pictures while you're passed out).
1 bag Goya lentils (or whatever lentils you can find/like!)
2 ribs celery, chopped fine
1/2 sweet onion, chopped fine
1 medium carrot, peeled and chopped fine
3 large cloves garlic, minced
64 oz (2 32 oz boxes) low sodium chicken broth
1 package chicken sausage, pre cooked or raw, whatever you want (I tend to love chicken sausage with maple syrup in it, if you can find it. If not, any will do!)
1 pound cleaned and cut kale
Salt and pepper, to taste
1.) Pour the lentils into a strainer. Rinse them. NOW.
2.) Meanwhile, in a soup pot (or enameled cast iron dutch oven, which I LOVEEEEEEEE), toss in 2 tablespoons olive oil. Once shimmering, toss in the chicken sausage. If raw, break up while it cooks. If pre-cooked, heat through until it browns and you get some nice brown on the pan.
Once cooked/browned, take it out of the pan and on paper towels to drain.
3.) Put the pot back on the heat and toss in the onions, celery, and carrots. Add a little more oil if necessary. Saute until softened, about 5 minutes.
4.)Add the garlic and stir the veggies until you can smell the garlic. Pour in 1/2 cup of the chicken broth (or some nice, dry white wine if you got it!).
5.) Pour some of the wine for yourself. You deserve it.
6.) THEN...Scrape up all the good brown bits from the bottom and let the liquid reduce 1 minute.
7.) Throw the lentils into the pot and get them nice and coated.
8.) Cover everything with 1 complete container of the broth and 1/2 of the other. Save the other half if the soup gets too thick (you can add it to thin it out).
9.) Bring to a boil, then down to a simmer, and simmer for 30-45 minutes. After 30 minutes, taste the lentils. Crunchy? No good. Tender? Rockin.
10.) Once the lentil soup is ready, add the sausage and the kale. Stir until the kale is wilted.
Then you're done.
Now eat it and pass out.